Deadlands Noir Extinct in the Big Easy

Im not sure flying is for me

I remember when I was growing up being fascinated by the idea of flying. When barnstormers came through Eskilstuna I was always there to watch, and sometimes on deck on the Sann Stjärna we’d see the big airships gliding past in the distance, overtaking us easily, and I always thought it would be grand to fly, myself, one day. But my career kind of fell apart just when I was reaching the point where I’d have been doing much traveling, and I’ve spent most of my life before and since flat broke, so I figured it just wasn’t ever going to happen.

Man, I wish I’d been right about that.

The way that orniwhatsis swoops and bobs—up and down 20 feet for every 100 feet it goes forward, seems like—my stomach felt like a bottle of ketchup with somebody smacking the bottom.

If the steam bird is the only vehicle available when this little jaunt is over, I will fuggin’ walk back to Indianapolis.

Going off the Reservation

The lads and I were able to successfully rescue the Deer woman and set her and her herd mate free. Dutch Schultz and his boys are answering to their maker now for their earthly sins. At the end of the battle, we were joined by two monks who gave Divine inspiration as their reason for leaving the St. Meinrad Arch Abbey. Father Ferdinand knew of Mary Katherine’s trouble with the Chicago Mob and offered her shelter at the Arch Abbey. Mary Kate agreed to leave with them, but she Left her envelope with me. Father Ferdinand was able to give us a little warning before the police arrived at the hotel, presumably to arrest us.

During our escape from the Indianapolis police, who should we run into but our old friend from the Agency, Victor Shou. He has issues with the Kali cultists too. Seems that his friend and mentor was on the same trail as us a year ago and ended up going home in pieces. Agent Shou’s dilemma is that the cultists are an evil that the Agency’s charter says must be destroyed but the people elected to run the country don’t want to harm the overly productive farms in the process in the interest of the “National well being”. Agent Shou, like us, recognizes the extent of the evil. The cult of Kali is a cancer that will eventually consume it’s host, turning this once great God fearing country into another foul, evil land of death without hope.

Agent Shou asked for our help in destroying the cult’s main base near Lafayette, Indiana and we readily agreed. He has acquired a troop sized ornithopter for our use and will be landing us on the train they are using to move the rest of their sacrificial hostages to the main base. It seems that our mission in La Fontaine was more successful than we realized! As they say out west, I think Agent Shou has gone off the reservation for this mission.

All Gods creatures
I will never cease to be amazed by some of God’s creations! We have discovered that the mysterious deaths have been caused by some kind of shape changing deer/human. It appears that Dutch Schultz is holding a deer-woman captive and is whoring her out. One of her herd mates seems to be trying to locate and rescue her. We have tracked the victim to a slaughterhouse near the river and are about to effect a rescue….
Who thinks thats sexy

This is certainly turning out to be a weird town. Apparently, there is a market for deer prostitution…who knew. The mob had a half deer woman held prisoner and force into whoring; I can only assume that this is because real deer are a lot harder to catch than sheep. They are always running away and playing hard to get. Seriously, that is probably the weirdest sexual perversion that I have ever come across… and I worked out of Japan for a while.

Not My Kind of Trafficking
Wildlife Shouldnt be That Wild

You know, I know plenty of stuff I don’t want to. I know Silver Dollar Sam doesn’t like steak. I know my dad kept a stash of smut pages in the woods.

And now I know there’s a market for nonconsensual (thanks, Father Ryan, for the free $2 word) half-deer prostitutes. NOT how I wanted to learn there were half-deer people, incidentally.

So I know I shouldn’t write about all the stuff we have to do in case someone finds it and tries to use it against us, but let me just say we tracked down “Dutch” and the rest of the guys responsible for this unfortunate part of humanity and made them Swiss. Very very Swiss. On a related note, these Hellstromme pistols are pretty sweet once you get a feel for the weight!

There are few things as deeply satisfying as killing gangsters

Called bartender guy to see if he knew anybody up here who was good with code breaking. He does, and will give him a call. We owe the codebreaker a race ticket and I have to make sure bartender guy knows whenever I’m fighting.

Wandered back to St Elmo’s and the crowd around the crime scene was just breaking up. Started asking around to see if anybody knew anything about the skittish looking redhead, and a bunch of 5 mafiosi got all touchy, asking how we knew about her and starting to draw on us.

Claude talked them down from shooting, and with a bit of intimidation and the casual killing of one of them, we got information that there was a deer woman being held captive and whored out against her will in a slaughterhouse in the stockyards. We took their guns (10 Colt 1911’s) and belts and told them if they didn’t tell anyone they’d told us about the deer woman, we wouldn’t either. We locked them in the sacristy (did I mention we interrogated said mooks in a church?) and I went straight to the slaughterhouse without passing go or collecting $200.

Got there, heard screaming from inside. I busted down the door and a bloodbath ensued. 13 mooks and a harrowed Dutch tried and failed to stop us; we plowed through the mooks like walking across a yard full of dandelions with a stick, but it took the combined efforts of Fr. Ryan, Antonio, and Nicky to take out Dutch. While they dealt with him to the south and Claude picked off mooks in the main room, Deer woman showed up and mostly made herself useful as a target. I made my way into the room to the north, following the screams, leaving a trail of bodies in my wake.

In that room there’s a blonde woman hung up by her thumbs and a deer-centaur covered in burns, brands, cuts and bruises lying by the north wall, both alive.

Right now there are two mooks left, one shaken, both in my reach. This situation is not likely to last long.

Score: Us, 12, mooks, 0

It’s a good day.

Shooting People

I am getting entirely too used to shooting people. And I had no compunction about hurting that demon child— child though she was. I’m not sure if what’s happening to me is that I’m hardening because of exposure to all of these crazy magicks and evils we run into— or if some part of me is still in the grey place, from my coma.

Only I know it wasn’t really a coma, was it? Was it? I walked around in a fog, there, and things with shining eyes called to me, whispering, and sometimes howling. Except when I heard Sammy’s voice talking or reading to me— she cut through the fog, nothing else much did.

Nickie Dreams

Nickie collapsed on top of his bed, not bothering to pull down the blankets. His eyes fell closed, and he realized he couldn’t breathe. His lungs heaved and he opened his eyes to see murky darkness surrounding him. He was sinking into the murky depths of some lake. Then, he felt the laws of physics shift. Up became down. Down became up… and Nickie was left uncertain what direction he should go to escape. He followed his instincts and swam upwards with all his might. He breaks the surface and sees an enormous ziggurat surrounded by an alien junglescape. A shadow fell over the land, and a voice boomed “Cipactli.”

Antonio Dreams

Content Not Found: null fell into the depths of sleep. He felt warm— burning up in fact— and when he opened his dreaming eyes he realized why— he was standing at the top of a volcano. A vast city sprawled far below in the wasteland. Rock and lava erupted like a geyser, going over Antonio’s head toward the helpless metropolis. “Cipactli” a distant voice roared, and Antonio’s eyes shot open.


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