Deadlands Noir Extinct in the Big Easy

Alligators

Seriously Why Did It Have to be Alligators

The good news: Despite all of Antonio’s admittedly impressive attempts to thwart us, we managed to get some time with the president of Mexico and convince him that there’s an angry crocodile god gearing up to unleash a flavor of hell or two on Earth. Nobody wants to be the guy that let an apocalypse happen in their back yard, so he gave us some cars, a few good men, and a flask of liquid courage to help us on our way to take Cipactli (ask Anson about this guy, at least to figure out if spelling his name right is good or bad).

The bad news: This crocodile god’s surrounded himself with alligators. As if I didn’t hate this job enough, why in the hell do there have to be freaking GATORS in this place? “But ”/characters/patent-scientist" class=“wiki-content-link”>Nicky, there’s no difference between crocodiles and alligators!" SCREW THAT!

Crocodiles have pointy snouts and their teeth are on display at all times – they’re honest about what they are, they don’t even try to hide it. I can respect that. But gators, they hide. Blocky snouts that don’t look as dangerous, and when they close their mouths the teeth are hidden. Hell, I’ve seen cutesy dolls made to look like gators, they’ve got people FOOLED! But I know what they are.

I know.

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